jessica drake Official Sex Educator @ Adult DVD Empire

Adult DVD Empire's official sex educator and Wicked Pictures contract star, jessica drake, answers your questions about sex, love & relationships! If jessica selects yours, you will get one of jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex DVDs as a prize!

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Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex: Anal Edition

Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex: Fellatio Edition

Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex: Positions

Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex: Female Masturbation

What is the way that male pornstars enlarge their penis size, and what size do pornstars like yourself prefer? -Ref

Hi Ref! That's a very popular question these days... come to think of it, that's always been a popular question. There are penis pumps and herbal supplements out on the market, but I think that rather than spend lots of money on something that isn't a proven way to add inches, the goal should be instead to find a way to accept yourself just as you are. The average penis size for a man is 3.5 - 3.7 inches when NOT erect, and somewhere between 5.0 - 5.7 inches when hard. What you often see in porn is NOT the norm, and don't forget - they say camera adds 10 pounds, so imagine what that must do to cock size!

Personally, I prefer a much more average size guy. If a guy is too big, it can make sex uncomfortable... and anal damn near impossible. I can go much longer in many different positions if the guy is NOT big - so instead of trying to make your equipment bigger, just concentrate on using it to the best of your ability.
xo, jd

Hi jessica, I'm a huge fan of your movies and Wicked. I've been watching movies for about ten years now, I'm married about 2 years and my problem is my wife doesn't like porn movies and I'm huge addict of porn. Please tell me what I can do to get her to agree to watch porn. I want to watch your movies with my beautiful wife. Sometimes I force her to watch porn with me but she shows no interest in pornography. Please, jessica help me and find a solution to this problem! - sadsana

Oh, sadsana. Your question makes ME sadjessica.
First rule: we should NEVER force someone to watch porn. At all. Ever. Porn is something that is for consenting adults, and it doesn't really sound like you have her consent. You should try to talk to her without pressuring her, and find out why she doesn't like porn. It's possible she never will, but it's also possible that she feels intimidated by what you are calling a "porn addiction". Try and have a discussion with her about why you like it as well. If that goes well, you may ask her if she'd watch some kind of porn with you that she picks out herself, something that she likes.
The most important thing here is that you learn to respect her decision, even if it isn't the same as yours. porn should only be used for fun in a relationship - to inspire and to arouse. Please don't use it to make your beautiful wife uncomfortable. ; )
xo, j

I find it very hard to take things to the next level with women. What advice do you have for a very shy girl who is nervous about flirting and hooking up? I'm terrified of rejection. My sweetie is very open minded and has encouraged me to go out and have some fun with girls on my own or with him. I just freeze up as soon as I see a pretty girl. - Kelly A

Hi Kelly- I think that's a great question, and you're lucky to have a boyfriend who is so encouraging. ;)
One of the most important things is to just relax and be yourself. I know it sounds cliché, but this is something that will come with practice. Half the battle is just summoning up the courage to get yourself out there and saying those first few words...but really, what do you have to lose? Strike up a conversation, compliment a girl on her shoes and you can ask her where she shops. Tell her you love her manicure, and then ask her where she gets her nails done. Starter questions like these can lead to a whole discussion. A more direct (sexual) approach would be to compliment her on a certain part of her body, say her eyes or her legs. It's hard to mistake your intentions when you're checking her out.
I know you say you're terrified of rejection, but honestly, so is most everyone else. Don't think of it as rejection. Think of it as rehearsal for next time. Soon you'll be a pro at picking up girls. Good luck!
xo, j

Several years ago my girlfriend and I started having vaginal sex, then she requested anal sex, but just before my climax she wanted me to go back into her vagina -I wouldn't as I did not think it was safe for the women and can cause complications. I have since had that same request and have seen it in some movies -a2p. Is that ok, or can it lead to complications? - ronjoe

Hi ronjoe- Although it is tempting, and although we often get caught up in the moment, you are right.
Sometimes in movies, they stop and change the condom or clean up before resuming vaginal sex after anal... and sometimes they do not. Personally, I do, but thanks to some clever editing, you may not notice. A2P isn't safe, and though it may feel good at the time, it can expose your partner to all kinds of harmful bacterial issues that will require medical treatment. She may be disappointed that you refuse, but that feeling is better than a round of antibiotics and no sex for awhile.

I have fucked my wife with her sexy friend and I have also done a DP with my wife and another guy. I want to know if doing these things can harm our relationship? - Sam

Hi Sam- Sometimes couples have fantasies that really excite them, and then once they try them in real life, they feel guilty or jealous or even angry with each other. I have seen couples break up over a threesome. That being said, I don't think that being sexually adventurous is a recipe for disaster; I just think that it's important to make sure that you are both on the same page. It's a good idea to talk about things before you do them, but you should also talk (at least a little) about things once they're done, especially if either of you had any jealousy issues.
Personally, I think that if you have someone who is sexually open minded and is willing to try new things and is comfortable enough to involve other people, that's great! Keep having fun together.

I would like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for the countless hours of entertainment, not only from your more traditional Wicked movies, but also for your public appearances, website, Sirius/XM radio show, your Tweeting, your "come along for the ride" blog, and now this fantastic Guide to Wicked Sex series.
My problem may seem to some as a blessing in disguise, but I don't wish it upon anyone. Because of certain medications that I must take, I have developed a dysfunction in my ability to orgasm. I have no difficulty with obtaining or maintaining an erection, even for long periods of time. I just can't come. My problem is that I exhaust my girlfriend, and don't usually climax. Although she says that she understands, it poses a couple of significant problems. The first of which is that she feels my not coming somehow reflects upon her sexual abilities in a negative way. The second and more significant problem is that by getting so aroused and not reaching that final relief, it leaves me emotionally frustrated and sometimes in actual physical pain. I can sometimes masturbate to help myself out, but at the same time that worsens my girlfriend's feelings of inadequacy. I am not asking for medical advice about the prescription drugs that I take. I do need your help with trying not to lose my girlfriend.
Thank you, Your loving fan. - HarleyVRSC

Hi Harley- Thanks for the kind words!
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know how important it is to ensure that your partner is satisfied, and to most people, this means making sure that they climax.
I am going to assume that the drugs you are taking are a necessity. Hopefully you have discussed your inability to orgasm with your doctor as well. It may be a slightly uncomfortable discussion, but your input can help others dealing with the same unfortunate side effect.
As for your girlfriend, often it is one thing to understand the fundamentals of the issue, but another thing to separate the emotional side, as I'm sure you are finding out. Has she been involved in any discussion with your doctor to get a medical explanation? This may help her understand fully that it is indeed a medical situation.
As far as the need for climax, I feel you! Few things are as frustrating as not quite being able to get there. If you are sometimes able to masturbate to help yourself out, Maybe you can do it for her and with her? See if she will masturbate as well while you watch each other, and see if you can get very close to climax and let her take over. If there is some kind of "trigger" that helps you - somewhere she can touch you, or something dirty she can whisper in your ear, let her know. She needs to feel like a valuable part of your orgasm, and I’m sure you can find a way to make this happen.
Don't give up, and please tell her that you don't want her to either.
Please write me back and tell me how things are going.
xo, j

Hey there! I'm a huge fan of yours. My question to you is: When you and your partner have sex, do you squirt big time when he hits your g-spot? - hardguy73

Hi Hardguy- I DO squirt, but it's not very often. Usually it's from fingers inside me, but on occasion, I have been known to squirt from a reverse cowgirl position. For me, it's not something that I set out to do every time - it just sneaks up on me. It's an amazing feeling, though, and I love it.
*I will be doing a Guide to Wicked Sex Gspot and Female Ejaculation edition soon - watch for it!

My fiancée has several mental illnesses and because of that, she usually doesn't have much of a sex drive. Both of us have talked to her doctors about how to improve her sense of desire, yet nothing seems to have a long-lasting effect. Don't get me wrong - she's a sweetheart of a woman and I love her dearly. I just want to make her happy, plain and simple. What do you suggest? - jedimaster

hi jedimaster- I love questions like these. Though the solution can be challenging, just the fact that you are so willing to help out really says a lot about you.
Obviously the benefits of her being on the medication outweigh her lack of sex drive, but they are constantly approving new medications with less (or different, at any rate) side effects, so keep communicating with her doctors.
Some medications can cause vaginal dryness - remedied with vaginal replenishers or lots of good lube, but other medications can just kill libido completely. You said that she "usually" doesn't have much of a sex drive, which says to me that every so often, she does. I'm sure you're taking advantage of those times, and the rest of the time, well, as long as it's not a source of contention between the two of you, you'll be fine. Maintain intimacy by spending time together, do date nights, keep up physical contact, caress and kiss each other, even if that's all that happens. It will keep you close as a couple.
As an aside, masturbation is healthy. It's a great way to relieve stress and tension, and can help one sleep better at night. ; )

My partner enjoys watching porn to help her arousal, but facial shots disturb her. How did you overcome the fear of cum on your face? -texas777

Hi texas- That's easy to answer - I never had a fear of cum on my face, even before I got into the business. I think that women are comfortable with it, or they are not. I recommend that you share porn with her that has no facials... Wicked has a line called "Wicked Passions" and it is great for woman who love the softer side of porn - none of the scenes have a facial! It is a perfect series for your wife to watch with you.

My wife and I are trying anal sex and the only position she will do it in is spooning. I was wondering how to try new ones that wont put her in any discomfort. I know it turns her on but I really want to watch as we do it as well and in that position I can't.
We love your movies and watch them often and wondered how you got used to it and what products would help us out better as well.

Thank you for your time and answers. -bastion

Hi bastion! Spooning is a great position for anal, it's really easy on both partners' bodies, and if her muscles are relaxed, it means easier anal too. Missionary may be good for both of you too, it's a low-stress position plus you can see everything. Doggy style can be scary for some women because they feel like they lack control, but for me it's a favorite. Another position that will treat you to an amazing view is cowgirl, but it's hard on her legs and thighs.
Anal sex is something that I was always curious about, long before getting into the business. I got used to it just the same as every woman who enjoys it - I practiced. ; ) The most important thing that men should consider is that if you are encouraging and supportive and allow her to remain in control, you are much more likely to get a repeat performance.
enjoy!
xoxo, jd

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