3.75
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
3
Video:
4
Audio:
4
-
4/17/2008
Hell, I wanted this one just for the box cover. Looking at Kirsten Price is always a treat, and Wicked seems to have the best box cover art of all the studios in recent years. There's a definite style to it. But
Once Upon a Crime, while a strange title, is worthwhile in the same way Wicked's other titles have been recently: while still couples friendly, they're still very watchable films for more regular porn fans.
The narrator steals the show right off the bat, especially the description of the pool boy (you'll get it when you buy it). The music fits the idea behind the story, though I didn't like August talking about the end of days in 2012. Some injection of science would have been nice... but the interaction between August and Kirsten is excellent, well acted. Though the male talent here, while he has some presence, he really doesn't deliver his lines all that well. He just wasn't a believable character.
There's a bit too much gross factor with the pool boy when it comes to the kitchen, a bit childish of writing, really, but it doesn't hurt too badly. What's got me is that we're almost ten minutes in and I'm really not all that considered about the lack of sex so far. It's really quite okay, as it's entertaining. There is then a brief bedroom scene between Kirsten and her "husband," though it was all oral with a footjob.
We then get into the kid's story that Kirsten is writing, though I didn't much care for the narration of what she was writing, especially with how good the main narrator was. Too much concentration in the writing about the guy's farts (seriously), and I'm again worried about the childish nature of the writing. Though there is something sexy about Lindsey Meadows, the Bee Princess fucking in what was vaguely a bee costume (Really just colored hair and some black fishnets. Woo!). While a pretty standard scene, and while the lighting wasn't the best, it still came together rather brilliantly as a good bit of fucking. She ultimately jerks him off into a facial, while she throws some luscious looks at the camera. Very nice.
The next scene features the husband, with a scene that had a bit more coercion in it that I'd like to see. I think the theory was that it was a strip club, and he insisted on some sex. She has an absolutely awesome back tattoo, which made the scene for me. Aside from the particularly poor lighting, the scene ended with a rather sloppy facial, as in the guy blew so much all over the place that you couldn't even tell it was a facial. They made it work, though.
The rather strange threeway featuring August and Lindsey with the poolboy was, well, strange. It's even more in the bee land, though watching Lindsey and August work on each other is always a joy. She kept getting close, and I was hoping Lindsey was going to rim August's goddess-like ass. But even without that, they produced a thoroughly enjoyable scene. The end has a rather huge facial for both ladies, nicely capping off a very, very nice scene.
Just to cheer her up over the discovery of her husband's cheating, August goes down on Kirsten for a good long time, in a scene the likes of which more films need to have. We then jump to a very angry husband doing a very poor job of loading the car. The hired help moves into the house, and we discover that they were after the couple's money the entire time. The pool boy is not the imbecile he pretended to be, and the plot thickens...
And what do you know? It turns out they poisoned her. Whoops. Kind of a dour ending, really. I don't know why, but I expected something just a bit different to close out the film. Though I did like the note at the end that the film was narrated by Sasha Grey, in exchange for cookies.
Not a bad production, really, though I think the story could have been quite a bit more, and I would have liked one more sex scene. Still, if this is the direction Wicked is going, my hat is off to them. There was some confusion in identifying everyone, as it took me a bit to note that the stripper was Ryder Skye, and I still mixed up Kirsten Price and Lindsey Meadows in there someplace, I'm sure. So while it wasn't perfect, it was good, story based porn, and something that shouldn't really be offensive to anyone but those who want a good ending.
By:
Oranje