4
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
2
Video:
5
Audio:
5
-
8/7/2008
MY FIRST PORN #10 isn't really about amateurs making their porn debut. Rather, it's the theme in a series of individual vignettes where the players act as though it's their first time, sort of like a humorous take on BARELY LEGAL, but played straight. All of the sexual situations require paying attention to the dialogue to understand the director's intent and set-up. But because the players are distantly miked, they can sometimes be barely heard. And just when you've pumped up the volume to make them more intelligible, Jack's booming voice can startle you back to hitting mute. Speaking of dialogue, some of the lines are rather witty or funny (at one point, Charles Dera delivers a line from "Boogie Nights" which is both well-timed and a non-sequitur), while others are just overacted or silly. There are times when Jack's attempts at humor straddle the line between insightful parody and heavy-handed cliché.
The first scene brings us to the set of a porn shoot starring Jim F. and Evie Delatosso (a cute Latina with large, natural breasts and an athletic body). The video they're making is called "Eve Sweet Tits" but "Big Jim" seems to having a hard (or rather, not so hard) time sporting wood. Now, given that this is a non-sex role for Jim, we don't actually see him flaccid - he just keeps taking breaks to consult with the director. The obvious set-up goes on for some time, before Jerry enters the picture and takes over. Predictably, she fellates him (rather well, I might add) and he eats her, and then they screw all over the couch leading into a tit-fuck which leads into a face-full of cum. This kind of parody has been done many, many times, but the execution is pretty good here, even though the whispered and mumbled dialogue can be notoriously difficult to decipher.
The next scene begins arousingly on what could have been some hot girl-girl action, but ends up being a waste of time. Sophia Santi is a sexy brunette with seductive eyes and a great ass, but whose body is graffiti-ed with just a bit too much ink for my tastes. I first saw her in Suze Randall's terrific THREE'S CUMPANY from 2005, and was sprung to life by her ménage a twat with Victoria Silvestedt and Sandra Shine (again, despite the tattoos). Her partner, Sabrina Rose (an attractive blonde who has looked much, much better in other videos) is being playfully spied upon by Miss Santi wielding a video camera. Naturally, the two decide to capture each other teasing and fooling around, using assorted toys which are deep throated and then later inserted in their private parts. While the girls are enthusiastic, the visual gimmicks are annoying and unnecessary. More often than not, we see the girls through the lens of a 4:3 camera which obviously does not match the viewfinder of the recording camera. But the real technical problem comes from the lack of pussy-eating in this scene. Yep, for whatever odd reason, these two lesbian-restricted performers don't come within licking distance of their twats. Very, very disappointing.
In the next vignette, we see Jerry and Jack outside of a large house, all camera-ed up with nothing to do when a girl fails to show up for a scene. They ponder on and on about their fate, when lo and behold, Kortni Kiss shows up. The inquisitive brunette has obviously been playing with her plastic ball somewhere on that same estate, and expresses interest in being part of Jack's "documentary." Soon, Jerry and the newbie retreat to a room and after some mutual oral work, fuck in almost every standard position known in porn: missionary, spooning, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and probably side-saddle somewhere along the line. While not the most glamorous of girls, Kortni is a dependable performer and knows how to take a well-place facial.
Just when I though this video would remain at an average state of eroticism, Savannah Gold is comes around and delivers the best scene in MY FIRST PORN 10. She and Charles Dera are in the middle of shooting a bedroom scene, when Mick Blue walks in, upset that a porno is being filmed in his house. (It happens to me all the time.) It seems as though he's been fooled into thinking that a legitimate shoot was taking place (if you can call the softcore flicks on Cinemax "legitimate"), and the only way to console him is to let him in on the action. Normally, a huge-titted bleach blonde like Miss Gold just isn't my type, but I was mightily arouse by the way she kisses, sucks cock, and takes on two guys both vaginally and anally. Her name is obviously taken from the very popular but controversial Savannah (rest in peace) and probably Crystal Gold (also a top-heavy blonde, now retired), but she holds her own as a performer.
Equally good is Stoya, a striking brunette who and a great find for Digital Playground. Her scene begins oddly, as she is wrapped up in cellophane against column inside a mansion. This gives us opportunities to stare at her tightly sealed ass, which would look better without all the wrapping. Erik Everhard wraps her up some more, and then pokes a hole through the plastic so that he can fuck her standing up doggy-style Just watching her smiling devilishly as she gets banged away is enough reason to start reaching for the lotion. Soon, all the wrapping comes off and Stoya and Erik get it on good and sweaty. She gets tagged anally, and then swallows him cum graphically when he unleashes on her tongue. My only complaint about this scene is the tired gimmick of seeing Stoya through a viewfinder, when it's once again clear that the recording camera onscreen doesn't match. However, given Stoya's work, I can easily overlook any technical distractions.
Once again, the 1080i-displayed picture quality is excellent when applying adult production standards. The widescreen picture makes me appreciate how porn benefits considerably from high definition. The audio is 5.0 surround, but the miking conditions during the actual shoot don't fully show off the benefits of digital sound. I'm not too surprised that a "Behind The Scenes" was absent from this disc, because the main feature is itself a "dramatized" look into what goes on in a porn shoot. However, the handful of Digital Playground trailers (most of which are superbly assembled, and even includes a teaser of the upcoming PIRATES 2) and Photo Gallery isn't sufficient to warrant a respectable rating when it comes to bonus features.
MY FIRST PORN 10 is probably my thousandth porn when it comes to reviewing. While the video isn't exceptional, both Savannah Gold and Stoya elevate what starts out as an average piece of erotica to near excellence.
By:
Diesel