3.25
out of 5.00 -
Film:
2
Extras:
4
Video:
3
Audio:
4
-
4/12/2010
When it comes to straightforward adult features, I expect quite a bit from a studio as reputable and as popular as Wicked. After all, they have produced recent epics like the superb 2040 and the ground-breaking OPERATION DESERT STORMY, and their line of critically acclaimed and award-winning titles is about as impressive as porn gets.
So it's a crashing disappointment to come across a feature like BIG BUTT TV, which is astoundingly predictable and amateurish and un-deserving of the Wicked label. I don't expect every title to have the same level of sophistication and wit as the better ones directed by Stormy or Brad Armstrong, but fans definitely deserve better than this. Even the most ardent ass lovers might find the "story" presentation here not worth the anatomical indulgence.
BIG BUTT TV opens hysterically (and I don't mean in the comedic sense) with some non-actor going nuts over his new high definition TV (which of course, looks like a non-widescreen projection TV encased in a refrigerator box, but that's just a way to serve up some deliberately cheesy visuals). He channel surfs, and then encounters some porn on the "Ass Channel" where sexy Venus-lookalilke Charlotte Vale teases the viewer before getting it on anally with Mr. Pete. If you guessed that this contrivance would be used to introduce the remaining four sex scenes, then give yourself a prize by turning off this movie and giving your favorite Tori Black video another spin.
A friend comes over to visit (played by the director himself?), and they watch Brooke Haven and Allan Stafford get it on a couch. This unremarkable coupling is followed up by an affair between Crista Moore and Nick Manning, and the action and conduct is so similar, that I thought I was watching the same scene twice (despite the fact that Crista is a bit easier on the eyes). Miss Moore is orgasmically over-the-top while getting her pussy licked, and there are too many annoying shots of Nick's gaping mouth in the background when she returns the oral favors. They screw in cowgirl, doggy and missionary style, with the final results ending up in her mouth.
Another unidentified visitor shares in our anonymous protagonist's enjoyment of "Big Butt TV" (which may or may not be the same as the aforementioned "Ass Channel"), as they pig out on junk food and watch Britney Stevens have a threesome with James Deen and Mick Blue. The dungeon-like setting does not help the already dark and dank videography (which surprisingly isn't shot by Francois Clousot), but the double penetration footage is worth a look. BIG BUTT TV ends with a lesbian affair between sexy brunettes Evie Delatosso and Zoe Britton, in which they emerge from the screen and perform "live" for the two couch potatoes. While their conduct doesn't begin to approach the sensuality of a Viv Thomas production, there's no doubt that their occasional deep kissing and use of a double-ended dildo are visually stimulating and very arousing. Unfortunately, we're forced to deal with a couple minutes of our heroes doing some masturbating schtick which isn't worth describing, and then they have a few more yucks at our expense before the credits roll. I can appreciate a deliberately cheesy, tongue-in-cheek satire as much as the next porn fan, but not when it's this shamelessly contemptuous of its audience.
Despite the lackluster visuals, the video transfer is up to Wicked standards and the audio quality is equally good, though viewers will probably feel compelled to turn down the volume during the non-sex scenes. Bonuses include a Behind The Scenes featurette, a bonus scene starring Kristina Rose and Tommy Gunn taken from THE LEGEND OF THE MAGIC TACO, and several trailers and a photo gallery. It's a package of goodies which almost outdoes the main feature itself. Based on the content seen here, if BIG BUTT TV were a real channel, it would probably be cancelled before the new season.
By:
Diesel
4
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
4
Video:
3
Audio:
5
-
2/5/2010
As a fan of a nice booty, I look at
Big Butt TV with a great deal of hope. Granted, as it's something from Wicked, it will be of good quality, but they will probably also play it safe, staying within boundaries that a Third Degree or the like simply don't have to. It's an interesting film, this one, with the production values and approaches of a major studio, but a theme that is usually more gonzo. The result is a mixed bag, but certainly a bit of fun.
I've been seeing the preview for
30 Love in the beginning of every Wicked film lately. It looks pretty darn good; I hope it lives up to the hype when we finally see it.
I recently reviewed
Bet on Black, and the same complaint I could make about that film I need to make here as well: if you're going to take the step of giving us a chapter menu, can you do something besides a small unviewable window with a number on it? List the talent in the scene, perhaps? Just that small step would make such a difference.
The scenes are kind of a mixed bag, though the opening, with the fake television on the "Natural" Channel was hilarious, a puppet being held on a stick inside the TV. The fact that it comes out and threatens him was excellent. The space alien doing the same thing, not as funny, but this still actually made me laugh loud enough where my wife was wondering about me. That's not something I do with a porn film everyday. Then he flips channels again, and it's Charlotte Vale, sticking body parts out of the television and getting our happy viewer quite excited. Oh, and a scene started. Good oral here from Charlotte in particular: a very nice pace and all that. The angles that follow are all a little tough, though, as they're zoomed in quite a bit and are all low. This makes it rather a crotch exam rather than having enough establisher shots of the talent. Good anal here, but again, we mostly stare at crotches for it. The talent might as well not have legs. A nice facial finishes it off.
Cover model Brooke Haven is up next, continuing this path I'm getting of alleging big butts but really just being women with nice curves. That's not a bad thing, mind you, but aside from Britney Stevens, I'm not seeing anyone in an Amber Peach or Alexis Texas league. Brooke does have a nice booty, of course, and it has some roundness to it some of the pencil-thin models simply can't emulate. The angles just all feel a bit wrong for this scene as well, though. I think it's the shadows of this one combined with the tight camera shots that are too low. I just didn't enjoy watching it as I didn't feel like I could really see it. Brooke takes a mouth shot in the end, which she then slobbers on her tits. I really hate that.
Crista Moore gets the third scene, with more bad camera angles and good action. This scene is remarkably similar to Brooke's though Crista's facial in the end really is very pleasant and is captured much better. And yet, she does the slobber thing as well. I just can't find that alluring, no matter how hard I try.
Britney Stevens does try to bring the heat back in the fourth scene, but we're too tight and too low on the camera shots again, and I feel like I hardly get to see her. The lighting is shadow-filled again, too. DP fans will like this scene, but it's the little things done wrong, like when Britney is doing reverse cowgirl anal and James Deen won't get his hand off her crotch, so we basically can't see the one thing the camera is obsessed with. She does have something of a squirt go, but what we got wasn't worth the effort.
Big Butt TV really is a mixed bag. I want to like it, but I don't feel as though I got the chance to actually watch the film, just see some small parts of it. It is good enough, but it could have been so much better.
By:
Oranje