4.25
out of 5.00 -
Film:
3
Extras:
5
Video:
5
Audio:
4
-
9/1/2000
Constructed in anthology form, LOOSE SCREW (a ridiculous and inappropriate title for this movie) follows the first-date adventures of five horny couples who were hooked up through a matchmaking service called Scream Dates. (In fact, SCREAM DATES would have been a far better title for this movie, although that could get it mistaken for a horror film.) The very lovely, very shapely Keisha Dominiguez plays the owner/operator of Scream Dates, and the movie begins in her office as a reporter (blonde fox Chandler) arrives to interview her for a magazine article about the company's success. Over the next hour or so, Keisha tells stories of various dates she arranged, and the film cuts away to depict the scenes she's describing.
LOOSE SCREW has hardly got started (a mere two minutes have passed) before we're in the midst of Date #1, in which long-haired Evan Stone is out with skinny little Mariah. They're in some kind of fancy living room, surrounded by antiques, and Evan is chattering on endlessly about himself. When Mariah finally gets a word in edgewise, it turns out that she has a really scratchy voice and can hardly deliver her lines at all; but she commands Evan's attention by mashing his face into her shaved crotch after barely one minute of preliminary dialogue has elapsed. This scene begins promisingly with some nice classical music (Vivaldi's THE FOUR SEASONS) which, unfortunately, dissolves into some typically dumb porn film jazz as the hardcore action begins. The weakest scene in the movie, it's photographed with a lot of wide-angle hand-held shots and includes awkward moments when characters drop completely out of the frame for a second or two.
Things pick up a bit in the next episode, where Michael J. Cox goes on a date with the petite Lola. They're inside what's been touted as a bad-ass "bring your own switchblade" bar, but which actually looks more like a nicely appointed den in a suburban home. Lola and Mike seem to be the only ones around - there are no sights or sounds of any bartenders or other customers, etc., and Lola is drinking an O'Doul's non-alcoholic beer. (Yeah, right...) Anyway, Mike starts complaining to Lola about his previous romance-gone-bad, and instead of kicking his ass out of the place (like a real-life woman would), she consoles him with a mercy fuck right there in the "bar." This sequence is distinguished by excellent oral technique on the part of both participants, and Lola makes some really great noises - including a ululating coyote wail (and a wonderfully frantic scream-for-more when his cock accidentally slips out of her during a hard fuck) - which alone would justify the description "Scream Dates."
Next up, Tera Patrick - a gorgeous brunette with especially nice jugs and a terrific butt - is out on a first date with burly, manly Randy Spears - a fellow who exudes more testosterone than all the other guys in the film combined. Randy's also a fairly good actor and does remarkably well with some banal dialogue until the hardcore humping begins. This couple has "just met," yet the scene opens with them alone together in a cozy bedroom. Once the clothes start to come off, Randy makes amusing use of his discarded necktie, lassoing Tera closer during the superb blowjob sequence. Cameraman Dino Ninn tries various mirror tricks which don't work (and he uses a bizarre extreme wide-angle lens during a missionary-position scene, which makes it look like Tera's popping up and down five feet at a time), but he definitely gets extra points for the truly great low angle shot included during the blowjob. Filmed from underneath Tera's left breast, looking up, this shot is a joyously fleshy, erotic wonder-to-behold.
For the next sequence we're back in the Scream Dates office, where Chandler has become so turned-on by Keisha's stories that she propositions her for some hot lezzy fun. Oddly enough, this turns out to be the most convincingly romantic action depicted in the whole film. Chandler's finger/fist-fuck technique REALLY pleases Keisha, who reacts LOUDLY and with extreme passion. There are some truly memorable shots of Keisha's full, natural wobbling jugs in the first of several dildo sequences, which is followed by a surprisingly erotic bit in which they each suck one end of a short dildo, with Keisha rolling her tongue over what looks like a little red cock protruding up out of Chandler's mouth. (Yes, it sounds like an image worthy of a David Cronenberg venereal horror film, but in fact it comes off as deliciously sexy here.) Finally, Keisha rams a two-pronged dildo into Chandler for a double-penetration, and Chandler returns the favor for her with a huge black dildo that looks like a tree trunk.
The final sex scene shows two more Scream Dates customers: Joel Lawrence as a wimpy guy who resembles Jerry Springer, and skinny little Chloe as an S&M leather-clad dominatrix who literally whips Joel into shape. They enjoy a good fuck scene (which includes a nice blowjob), and the film ends with Chloe calling Keisha to thank her for the hookup. The last shot is a very pleasant freeze-frame of Keisha's winning smile.
This is certainly an enjoyable (if undistinguished) movie with a little bit of almost everything in it. Although the crisp and colorful DVD is encoded only on one side, the bonus material packed onto it includes a really good "Behind the Scenes" featurette. Filmed on the set of LOOSE SCREW, the featurette takes us backstage where the cast and crew show their candid, off-screen selves. Particularly interesting is an extended sequence in which a big beefy guy (who seems to be the director, Jerome Tanner) has a stern disagreement with one of the actresses about her work schedule and, once it's been resolved, tries to set up a date with her! There's also a very funny (and quite erotic) scene in which the shapely Keisha, completely nude, clowns around with the film's extensive collection of dildos.
By:
Nick Gregory