3.5
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
4
Video:
3
Audio:
3
-
12/18/1998
Unless you've just come back from the center of the earth with Doug McClure, you probably know that the main reason to buy or rent JANINE & VINCE NEIL - HARDCORE & UNCENSORED is to see famous PENTHOUSE Pet and Vivid star Janine fuck a guy--in this case, Motley Crue's Vince Neil. For more info on that, see our video review in the August 1998 AVN.
So, if your customers have already seen the tape, why should they -or you- buy the DVD?
Well, for one thing, the image quality is definitely better - bearing in mind that the intire thing was shot with a consumer-model camcorder, so its quality is not that great to begin with. And the "feature" is divided into six chapters, so viewers can get to the sex stuff faster.
And then there are the extras: An extensive photo gallery of Janine, with a few pictures undoubtedly taken on the Hawaiian holiday during which the video was shot; an 18-minute "biography" of Janine, where she talks about her life and loves, intercut with various hardcore girl/girl scenes; and a "Playroom", with four more complete hardcore g/g scenes.
And despite what detractors may say, we like watching Janine move her ass in cicles on Vince's cock.
By:
Mark Kernes
4
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
4
Video:
4
Audio:
4
-
12/17/1998
OVERALL RATING: 8+ (A MUST SEE, JUST CUZ)
89 Mins.
IEG - 1998
THEMES: Janine in b/g, what more do you need?
STARS: Janine, Vince Neil, Brandy.
DVD EXTRA RATING- A-
DVD EXTRAS-
VIEW THE FEATURE- Let the games begin.
MEET JANINE- Nice looking little video of Janine dancing as her mini-bio rolls by. Similar to the one Vivid includes on their DVDs.
SLIDE SHOW GALLERY- Some very nice shots both from this video and from other photo sets of Janine. Any photo of Janine is going to look great, and there are over thirty of them here.
BIOGRAPHY-Full length interview with Janine. Nice look at this gorgeous woman. Some sexy footage of her dancing and some short clips from her scenes. For the Janine fan, this alone is worth the price of the disc.
PLAYROOM- Interactive clip room. Janine and Julian Ann share a champagne pussy party, Janine (for some reason) finds Randi Rage tasty, Janine and Stephanie Swift get finger licking good and Debi Diamond devours both Janine and Asia Carerra.
PREVIEWS- Full length trailers for Blonde Justice, Where the Boys Aren't and Sex Player.
REVIEW:
Since this was a home video to begin with, don't expect film quality from the DVD. However, IEG has cleaned up the action a bit here and on DVD things look much better than on the tape I saw. Other than that, the biggest difference is the digitzation that makes the other woman in the video impossible to recognize. I guess she wasn't too pleased to be hooked up with this movie.
Well, here we are again, another celebrity home video. First it was Tonya Harding in a poorly lit fuckfest with that scumbag husband of hers. Then it was a coked out Mimi McPherson (Sister of super model Elle) in a hotel with her even scummier Aussie beau. Then things started to get even more interesting. World famous celebrity/actress/model Pamela Anderson Lee had
some tapes of she and her husband 'stolen' from their home. That tape pretty much made more news than anything in porn since a certain teen scammer blew the whistle on herself about a decade ago. Now, the latest in this growing line of celebrity sex tapes hits the streets. (Or at least a copy hit my VCR so I can tell you all about it.) Long time girls-only porn queen Janine in a little Hawaiian vacation footage with rocker Vince Neil. (Who happens to be from the same band that brought us Pam's hubby Tommy Lee. See how nicely this all comes together.)
What most people, me included found hard to watch in the Pam/Tommy tapes, was the excessive and inane shit around the sexual action. There is plenty of non sex at the start of this tape as well, but we are not buried in "I love you baby" "I love YOU baby" BS. Instead, Janine, her cute friend and Vince do some frolicking on the beach for a bit. Even in her bikini, Janine is nearly too sexy for words. Holy shit.
After the fun in the sun, we get to take a little ride in a helicopter over the lovely Hawaiian Islands. I know, it ain't smut, but is sure is beautiful. (And it beats the hell out of seeing Tommy Lee in make up.) More to the liking of you porn hounds out there is the first pussy shot. Oh wait, that's a CAT! Never mind. You know, watching Janine prance around in a thong makes it worth sitting through Vince's narration of the Hawaiian sights. The first sex comes in a nice secluded cave with Vince getting a quickie
blowjob from the other girl.
After a long evening of doing tourist things, and nearly fifteen minutes of non sexual action, (Cut down by a half hour from the video.) it's time for you to all see what you've been waiting for. Janine stands over Vince and shoots him as she strokes his cock, whispering things to her that are a bit hard to understand. Then she has him lie on his back and the real fun begins. There can be no doubt, with the camera position and lighting set up the way it is, that this session was meant as a video keepsake for one of them. (Three guesses which one?)
At sixteen minutes into the tape, the moment millions have been waiting for occurs, a hard cock enters Janine's mouth and there it stays. Janine must be commended for her impressive sword swallowing here. It's more than just the thrill factor, this woman knows how to suck dick. Oh, and by the way, for those wondering how Vince measure up. Well, I've seen Tommy Lee and Vince is no Tommy Lee, that's for sure.
You have to love the way Janine plays this for the camera, looking into it, using her on camera skills to keep everything well framed as they 69 for a while. She turns around so that her ass and pussy are right in the camera as Vince brings her off with his tongue. Great shot. When it's time to fuck, Janine rides Vince, once again, grinding her ass in perfect view and looking back over her shoulder. Wow, this is a beautiful woman. After a few minutes of this, Janine pulls a quick dismount to suck her own
cum off Vince's rod. If you can read lips, you will catch "I love to taste my pussy on your cock." That's it, a million viewers just spewed loads at the same moment.
The reverse cowgirl looks even better as Janine spreads her pussy while she slides up and down on his rod. This has to make everyone want to see her do the same to Peter North or Rocco or any one of dozen other porn studs. When he puts her on her back and starts really fucking, things get out of frame a bit so we seen Vince's ass and Janine's legs. I'm sure you feet fans will go nuts since her feet are center shot. The other girl, who looks a lot like Drew Barrymore and Janine keeps calling Brandy,
gets involved in the action. Eventually, this woman lies on top of Vince while he fucks Janine. You can't see much, but she sure is a vocal fuck. They all switch places so that Brandy is on top of Janine while Vince fucks her from behind. At least they move the camera so the angel changes. Too bad most of what we see now is his ass.
Janine ends up playing director after a while, taking the camera and capturing the action as Vince slams Brandy. Not to complain, but why wasn't Brandy taking the camera when Janine was getting the dick? That would have bee nice. No cum shot to close things out, but we do get to watch as Vince films Janine fingering her pussy. Brandy brings in a vibrator with equal parts finger fucking and battery operated fun, the blonde sex Goddess climaxes
For those people hoping to see Janine bust loose and become the cock crazed nymph we've always wanted her to be, might be a bit disappointed that she doesn't go Debi Diamond on us. However, if you just always wanted to see the cover girl face take a dick, or that million dollar pussy stuffed with a flesh pole, then this is your chance. (Likely your only chance.) Unlike that other celeb video, fully half of the tape is sex. The non-sex is pretty cool, with lovely scenery and Janine showing the same sort of presence she has shown in her porn career. The sex is good beyond the obvious appeal of seeing Janine stuffed with sausage. Then again, just watching her with a guy is more than worth giving this a go. For me, I loved it, even if it did make me
want to see Janine hook up with some professional cocksman in the very near future.
I kind of liked a lot of the Hawaiian footage that is cut of this disc, but I'm sure most of you are just pleased that the sex is still in tact. Watching Brandy get fucked with her face covered is a bit below average. Still, this is all about watching Janine with a guy for the first, and perhaps the last time. It may not be as big a deal as the Pam Lee tape, but it's hotter sexually and a must have for the collection.
By:
Roger T. Pipe