3.5
out of 5.00 -
Film:
2
Extras:
4
Video:
4
Audio:
4
-
10/20/2000
Although PARADISE HOTEL isn't the worst porn video I have ever seen, it sure is cheap and cheesy, and completely wastes Tera Patrick's (billed as Sadie Jordan) talents. She performs in a single scene which is good, but not great.
Longtime performer Keisha offers the best scene at the very beginning of the movie, ending with an oral cumshot to the mouth that hints of swallowing. It's too bad that we never get to see her and Tera perform together. The other scenes include a forgettable girl-girl scene, and two straight scenes which were also less than memorable.
Once again, Legend Video fills their "biography" section of the disc with a lot an innane "interviews" which would make Stuttering John proud. For instance, references are made to Keisha looking like Dee Snyder (formerly of Twisted Sister) and there are plenty of other racist, chauvinistic, and sexist comments to follow, which might otherwise be funny if they weren't so mean-spirited. Why Legend uses these insulting remarks to sell their products, I have no idea. The behind the scenes extra is more like random outtake footage than a true "documentary" into the making of this video.
I would recommend this to Tera Patrick completists only.
-
Diesel
4
out of 5.00 -
Film:
4
Extras:
4
Video:
4
Audio:
4
-
6/22/2000
Tera Patrick and Mickey G. wake up hancuffed and married after a drunken spree-- but it's all just another day at the Paradise Hotel, where no questions are asked and "the best rooms are on the bottom floor." In that vein, Joel Lawrence penetrates Keisha's bottom two ways; hooker Bailey Montaigne pleasures creeper (and eventual groom) Kyle Stone, and a strapped-on Lola helps Tera overcome prewedding jitters. But the prize is the Tera "Sadie Jordan" Patrick material, which includes spoon, reverse cowgirl and mish loving.
And speaking of Tera Patrick material, there's plenty of it in the 10-minute "Behind The Scenes" featurette, which, though a bit disjointed, pretty accurately portrays what life is like on a porn set. Extras also include five animated chapter buttons, bios (with silly Q&As) of the actresses and a 20-image slide show. Image quality is also very good, with only minor pixelation in still-frame and slo-mo.
By:
Mark Kernes
3.25
out of 5.00 -
Film:
3
Extras:
3
Video:
4
Audio:
3
-
5/31/2000
Since she is the hottest thing since sliced bread, I figured I had to review at least one Tera Patrick movie. I literally have not seen a woman come on to the scene and light everyone's lamps like this since Jenna Jameson stormed onto the scene a few years back. Billed here as Sadie Jordan, Tera looks nothing short of stunning on the cover of this Jerome Tanner DVD. I've actually seen her in a few Tanner titles, proving that he is smart enough to use this super hot looking babe as often as humanly possibly. Further proving his porn acumen, Tanner is using Keisha and Lola as well, making sure that there will be hot sex to go along with the stunning beauty.
The way this movie starts, I would say we are in for a whirlwind of a story. Micky G wakes up handcuffed to Tera in one room of a hotel. Though they can't remember meeting, it seems that they got married. Meanwhile, Joel Lawrence has his hands and mouth full of Keisha's more than ample titties. We stop and watch them for a while as the legendary performer delivers a wonderful blowjob. So far, her comeback has been a good one since Keisha seems to be more in love with dick than ever. After Joel gives her full bush a taste, Keisha shows off her impressive flexibility. Check out how those feet just fold up behind her ears for a good, solid fuck. Actually, he bypasses the bushy beaver and goes right for her ass. (Fans have been waiting to see that pooper popped for years.) A quick tit fuck leads to a big shot of semen fired across her face. With jizz dripping from her hair, Keisha professes her love for his prick.
Outside the hotel, Kyle Stone is creeping around in a trenchcoat, doing his best to avoid attracting attention. He's a groom about to be married, but before he walks down the aisle, he wants some kinky sex from a busty hooker. Bailey Montaine may not be a beauty queen, but Kyle is glad to have a woman who isn't as dead in the sack as his betrothed. She ties him up, blindfolds him and then starts sucking that stiff member. This lusty latina really puts her mouth and hands to good use, pumping his prick hard enough that he might be reconsidering that whole marriage thing. Again the sex starts off almost immediately with a cock in the ass. On her hands and knees, this experienced working girl shows Kyle the joys of backdoor sex. He seems to be catching on fast, really pumping it into the rump of this curvy callgirl. He ends up shooting all over her belly and pierced pussy.
Stories are unfolding all over the place. Keisha just can't break away from her commitments enough to run off with Joel, a bride to be is getting cold feet and Tera is looking for the key to unlock her handcuffs. Lesbian passions explode between Lola and the blonde bride to be. The thin brunette cockhound proves that she also loves lapping labes. Anyone care to bet that the pretty blonde, fucking Lola with the strap on is the sexually repressed fiancee Kyle was bitching about? Maybe you just need a pussy to get her going bro. Really nice strap on and two headed dildo sex between the insatiable Lola and her pretty friend.
Their time together has brought Micky and Tera much closer. At the same time, Keisha and Joel decide not to run off together, but to keep meeting for weekly fucks instead. Also looking into the joys of fucking, Tera and Micky decide that a little banging before the annulment isn't such a bad idea. Tera really is a beautiful woman with a face to die for, big, real tits and a soft lower body that is a nice change from the ultra twiggy girls who infect the porn landscape. Lucky Micky leans back, attaches his mouth to her pussy and enjoys a blowjob that must feel as good as it looks. If Tera keeps fucking with this kind of sexy energy, her rise to the top will continue at record pace. The reverse cowgirl footage is a leg lovers fucking dream and it ain't bad if you like tits or pussy either. Her small patch of pubes gets a healthy dose of dick batter.
Finally, it's time for the wedding night. Since Kyle assfucked a hooker and his wife banged her maid of honor, you might think that they would be too tired for sex. Instead, they both end up discovering what has been missing the whole time. She helps instruct him through a very sensual, couples oriented scene complete with toe sucking, generous pussy lapping and even a kiss before the blowjob. He ends up seeing a side of her that may just keep him away from hookers for the rest of his life. Nice, short blowjob, but the best shots are of the leggy blonde flailing away while Kyle bangs her box. Anyone with bride fantasies will appreciate her semi-clad sex that ends when Kyle drops a load right on her cute buns.
Don't look for too much plot here. It's basically a couple of scenes interwoven to bring us to the finale. That doesn't mean the movie is without appeal. Tera Patrick is gorgeous and this is a nice introduction to the busty star on the rise. Keisha does a really hot anal and facial in the best fuck of the movie. Lola is great in her lesbian scene, but this babe needs to take cock in every movie. Other than the Tera and Keisha scenes, the sex is pretty average feature stuff. Well shot, well lit and hot, just nothing to write home about. Grab this one if you want to see Tera, have a thing for brides, dig hot lesbian toy action or really want to see Keisha get that big ass fucked and wear a load. (In fact, I'm going back to watch that one right now.)
By:
Roger T. Pipe