Ordinary Patrol 3.5 out of 5.00 - Film: 3 Extras: 2 Video: 5 Audio: 4 - 10/22/2002
The first thing that impressed me about Teen Patrol wasn't the line-up of girls or the anal action that takes place in every scene, but at the quality of the picture. This is certainly one of the sharpest gonzo titles I have seen from Metro, and it's nice to see they have upped their video quality since the last time I viewed one of their titles.

That being said, Teen Patrol is a surprisingly average film, given the fact that it contains some of the cuter girls in the business engaged in anal action. I think part of the problem lies in the hands of the director himself, Skeeter Kerkove, who also introduces each scene. Skeeter feels the need to give each of his actresses and actors phony names and a phony story at the beginning of each segment. Hey, Skeeter, almost everyone watching this flick will immediately recognize Aurora Snow and Jay Ashley, so no one's going to buy that she's a cheerleader named "Theresa", or that he's a football jock named "Sammy"! The other scenes' scenarios are equally ridiculous.

As for the action itself...well, it's watchable. Nothing quite as entertaining as what you'd see in a Red Light, Anabolic/Diabolic or Evil Angel film, but a little better than most of the other gonzo material on the market. I haven't seen Skeeter's much-praised Anal Excursions yet, but I'm betting Teen Patrol doesn't live up to the action in that movie - either that, or those who praised Anal Excursions may really not know what good gonzo is all about.

After an opening segment with Aurora and Jay - which isn't bad, but we've seen these two perform together so many times there's not much freshness to watching them anymore - we get a scene with Dynamite and Chas Alexander in which Dyna (who looks cute in a schoolgirl outfit) takes anal in the reverse cowgirl and doggy positions.

The best scene on the disc is the middle one that has Olivia Saint pairing up with Mark Ashley. Olivia looks especially hot in some thigh-high white stockings and, although I wasn't crazy about the fact that (for some reason) she gets clothespins applied to her nipples during the scene, watching her take Mark's cock up her behind is easily the highlight of this title.

Autumn Haze teams up with Brett Rockman for the next to last scene, one in which spends a great deal of time shoving two jelly dildos up her holes (when he should probably be shoving his own tool up in there!). Don't worry though, Brett does finally start using his own equipment on her...I just wished the scene hadn't lingered on the dildo play for quite as long as it did.

Finally the movie wraps up with Alaura Eden and Jay Ashley (playing a different character than the first scene - I guess they ran out of male talent!) as two volleyball players who show each other just how much team spirit they have. I've seen Alaura in some Red Light titles, and her performance here is nowhere near as good as I've seen her on those other discs. Once again, we (is this entertaining to anyone?) have some clothespins on the nipples...ouch!

As far as bonuses go, there's not much that this DVD has to offer, although it does contain a handful of entertaining previews for other Metro discs and a slide show.

Overall, Teen Patrol is a pretty average, although well-shot, gonzo title. There's nothing particularly wrong with it, but with so many other studios doing this kind of stuff so much better, it's hard to get too excited over Skeeter's latest adult endeavor.


      By: Spooky

Skeeter Kerkove is the anal master 5 out of 5.00 - Film: 5 Extras: 5 Video: 5 Audio: 5 - 10/23/2002
A big compliment to Metro for putting out some truly hardcore and very nasty sex. The blowjobs in the movie are furious! I love the constant ass to mouths in this movie. I was very impressed that every sex scene in this movie has anal. Lots of anal!

Seeing the clothespins on the girls' nipples while taking it up the ass was truly priceless - I had never seen that before. In the Olivia Saint scene, the clothespins are spinning like tassles. You have to see it to believe it! In my book, this movie is a "perfect 10" in originalty and ultra-nasty anal sex!

      - Chris Haberski

A hardcore anal movie 5 out of 5.00 - Film: 5 Extras: 5 Video: 5 Audio: 5 - 10/23/2002
I just got done watching Skeeter Kerkove's Teen Patrol. For the "young girl look", it is really hardcore. Lots of ATM's and plenty of anal. It was really hot seeing the clothespins on the nipples.

Skeeter is a crack-up with his obviously tongue-in-cheek storylines. Also I loved all of the pop-shots, half of them go in the girl's ass, then are fed to her mouth. Very nasty stuff!

All of the girls give awesome, very aggresive blowjobs and there is slobber everywhere! My favorite scene is Olivia Saint and Mark Ashley - but all of the girls do a great job.

I really got off good from this movie...if you like anal sex, this is a very good movie for you!

      - Bill Kleintlock