2
out of 5.00 -
Film:
1
Extras:
1
Video:
3
Audio:
3
-
2/18/2002
Lord Almighty, did I feel my temperature rising when I saw what happened with Cash Markman's
Burnin' Love. Here's a director (and writer and producer) who seems to either hit the bullseye or miss the target completely every time.
Burnin' Love is a miss...a big miss.
The idea of making an adult film about Elvis is a good one, especially since the King's sexual proclivities seems to be ripe material for an adult feature. However,
Burnin' Love isn't about Elvis...it's about Elvis impersonators who lure women into bed by pretending they are Elvis...and like those impersonators in real-life, this movie is a mere pretender.
And since this is a movie about impersonators, not one...but five of adult's more popular actors have to embarrass themselves by doing Elvis impersonations...bad Elvis impersonations.
The first one is poor Joel Lawrence, who is one of adult's best actors, but certainly won't be putting this performance on his resume. He does get to sing a little diddy (written by director Markman, according to the credits), and he's not bad (Lawrence also showed his singing skills in Markman's
Throbin Hood), but the sex (with Stevie) is bland and the fact that Joel has to keep a ridiculous outfit and wig on throughout the action doesn't add much to the sequence.
Sadly, things only get worse after the opening scene, with Cheyne Collins, Mickey G, and Jay Ashley all giving their best (worst?) attempts at poking a little fun at the king of rock and roll. If Elvis isn't really dead, watching these guys would kill him for sure...
You know you've witnessed a bad adult movie when Ron Jeremy has the best scene in it...and that he does with a nice performance with cute little Adajja, who doesn't seem to care that Ron both slides his cock up into her ass and then spews a healthy dose of cum on her face. Plus, there's the fact that of all the actors in
Burnin' Love, Ron has the body type that most closely resembles Elvis...but alas, I would have thought the mustache would have been a dead giveaway that he wasn't the genuine article.
As if having a bad movie wasn't bad enough, Dreamland adds insult to injury by doing absolutely nothing with this DVD to give it any appeal. The disc is front-loaded with a website ad you can't skip over, a "Trailer" which doesn't lead to a trailer at all...but back to that damn website ad, an additional ad for lingerie, a chapter selection and a photo gallery...and that's it. The video and audio also aren't very good, although they rate as average when compared to what's available in the adult DVD market.
Now, I don't mean to be cruel to a heart that's true, but
Burnin' Love is one title that I plan to return to sender.
By:
Spooky