2.5
out of 5.00 -
Film:
2
Extras:
2
Video:
3
Audio:
3
-
3/7/2005
I don't know about you, but referencing one of the most disgusting and disturbing movies ever made isn't exactly a turn on.
The director of
The Last Whore House On The Left is credited as Weazel Padowski. Horror fans will probably recognize this as Fred Lincoln's character in the original
Last House On The Left. For those that need a refresher, he was the rapist/murderer that got his member gnawed off in the final act. Just the mental image I want to think of before sitting down for a porno.
Lincoln, who's made over 200 adult titles since
Last House On The Left, serves as a host here, but thankfully he doesn't get it on any of the action. Basically, he's there to tell us that this is what he hoped would've happened during the filming of a horror movie, but this even this slimmest of pretenses is ignored for the most part.
The film starts with Lincoln and a creepy looking guy (seemingly modeled Junior from the original) invoking one of the most disturbing scenes from the original film, sizing up a girl who's alone and scared (and from the looks of the set, in a morgue.) After telling her that, 'he's one of the good guys' the plot stops and the action starts, which starts with some pretty impressive deep throat oral sex, but quickly progresses into a series of extreme close-up penetration shots. Even if this is your thing, you probably won't like it, because during most of the hard fucking we get a better view of the guy's ass than anything else. If that's the thing you're into, then you're probably not getting straight porn. That, combined with the dark lighting, the semi-degrading acts (ass-to-mouth, I'm not a fan) and the eerie setting, makes it more than a little creepy to watch.
The second scene has the nearly identical set-up, the only real difference being a location change to a bathroom. Fortunately, the lovely Avy Lee Roth is more into it than the girl before, working the cock with much more enthusiasm, fingering herself and moaning nonstop. Also, the direction is much better, so you can actually see what's going on.
By the third scene the pretense of the horror movie is just about gone, luckily there's a good girl/girl scene to make up for it. Keri Sable is the focus of most of the work here, fingering, kissing and eating out another girl before they switch. Finally a dildo is brought in and they fuck each other with it while fingering themselves.
Next up there's a threesome with a damsel in distress thanking two firefighters for saving her by taking their cocks out and sucking them both at the same time. From there she blows one while the other takes her from behind, ending with a double-penetration sequence. Like the first scene, it's poorly directed with murky lighting, so the best moments are hard to see.
Ending with a two-girl/guy scene, the film picks up a little bit, with some good double-blowjob shots and a great pop shot that ends with the girls licking it off each other's faces and in each other's mouths.
Problems with dark lighting and bad direction fill almost entire film, really hurting the few good scenes that it has.
This flick really isn't for anyone. If your tastes are on the darker side, and like the stalker/horror angle, then there are movies out there for you that are better than this one. If you want a movie with some plot, you're not going to get one here, no matter what the back of the box says, and if you like all sex features, the sex isn't that great. Add a lack of any decent extras and there's no real reason to buy this sub-standard release unless you're a huge fan of one of the starlets.
By:
Jimmy Woodfox