San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon

Metro / Year: 2000 / 3 out of 5
Adult DVD
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3 out of 5
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Adventure Has A New Name...Okay, Not Really!

By: Spooky
In-House Review - Jul 23 2001

Adventure is reborn as Ron Jeremy stars as "San Fernando Jones", that swashbuckling do-gooder who is determined to track down the hidden "Temple of Poon" and restore justice to a world gone wrong. Okay...actually Ron is basically starring as himself, and the only thing he wants to track down is pussy and a four-course dinner, but damn if it didn't sound good at first, right?!

If you like Ron Jeremy...and come on, who doesn't like "The Hedgehog"...you'll probably have fun watching San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon. Ron is off in search of the mythical temple, which is supposed to hold the wettest, tightest pussy known to man. Ron is determined to find the temple, although he keeps getting sidetracked by food and sex.

The humorous part of an Fernando Jones comes from the fact that all the other actors think that Ron Jeremy is...well, Ron Jeremy, and not San Fernando Jones. For example, when Ron crashes a porn shoot early in the movie, he is promptly thrown off the set by the director. Later in the film, when he goes to a young woman for information (played by Heather Lynn), he finds that he is only there because he is part of a scheduled sex scene.

Jeremy seems to realize that he is somewhat of an anomaly compared to the other "studly" porn actors working today, and he uses this to his advantage. He makes self-depreciating comments and even chooses food over sex at several points in the movie. But all works out well for Ron as he is finally able to uncover the hidden "Temple of Poon" and get his just rewards...making out with certainly one of the wettest pussies in the business, if not the tightest...at least not after Ron gets finished with her!

If there is a downside to San Fernando Jones, it's that they really didn't try to parody the Indiana Jones movies, which is probably what a lot of buyers are going to expect. If this is a parody of anything, it is a parody of Ron Jeremy himself. I enjoyed the fact that Ron doesn't mind being the butt of his own jokes, and his sense of humor made the movie fun to watch.

As for the sex, Ron actually has the best two scenes in the movie, although there is also a nice foursome with Asian beauties Miko Lee and Jade Marcella teaming up with Tyce Bune and Brian Surewood that takes place at about the half-way point of the picture.

As far as bonuses go, the disc is fairly average, although there is a nice, 11 minute, behind the scenes featurette, in which Ron talks a little more about the making of his movie and (as always) himself! The audio is well-done, but the video suffers from having a frame rate that causes the picture to be a bit jumpy. It's kind of hard to explain, but you'll recognize what I am talking about immediately upon viewing the picture...it's not a problem with the transfer, it's the camera which was used to film the movie. You'll often see the same kind of jumpiness on a TV special, often (for some reason) when daytime soaps show a prime time episode.

All in all, San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon makes for a mild, but amusing view. It's the kind of porn you'll enjoy watching with a group of friends or at a party, but not the kind you can really sit back and get off watching. It comes most highly recommended to those Ron Jeremy fans out there (and you know who you are!).

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